The Simple Wife

I’ve spent so much time talking about my pregnancy experiences (which I’m hoping will draw to a close in the extremely near future), that I thought this would be an appropriate time to turn the spotlight onto my baby daddy. Poor, wonderful, exhausted, caring man. While I give him constant updates about my ever changing physical status, he has to live them vicariously, in addition to living with a wife who is sometimes cranky and unreasonable (please, don’t gasp in disbelief too loud–it does happen on rare occasions). After explaining in minute detail how I felt during church Sunday night, he became convinced that I would go into labor that night. I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately, but on Sunday, every time I turned over David (who is usually a heavy sleeper, and never notices when I get out of bed for anything) would wake up and ask, “Are you all right? How far apart are they?”

In my state of wakeful exhaustion, I could not do much more than try mumble something about being all right…which sounded like a groan–not the best way to convince your anxious, adoring husband that you’re really fine, you’re just trying to get comfortable. He assured me the next morning that he had understood my mumbles, he just didn’t believe me. That’s my fault, I presume. I’ve told him I wouldn’t wake him the minute I started having contractions, out of fear he would rush me to the hospital only to be sent home after being told they were “false”. Of course, knowing my intolerance of pain, it could turn out that as soon as the first legitimate contraction comes I’ll be screaming, “Get me to the hospital and find an anesthesiologist! I don’t care if this isn’t the real thing!”

Still, when I say I don’t know what I would have done these last nine months without my husband, I mean it. He’s been patient, loving, kind, and never gets tired of rubbing my feet, taking me to Dairy Queen, or humoring any of my other little pregnancy whims (like vacuuming the baseboards for me). We’ve tried to make the most of the last few weeks, cramming in as many last-date-night-without-kids opportunities as we possibly can and have enjoyed spending time together at the movies, late night runs for ice cream, water fights in the backyard, and of course, LOTS of cleaning! He’s still my bestest best friend in the whole world, and I’m hoping I won’t be too jealous about having to share him with my son. Ah, well, if we can have fun with two, three should be even better

Still no baby, but yesterday my water broke in the car…water bottle that is. I was getting ready to leave for work, trying to maneuver my big ol’ tummy into position behind the wheel, along with my getting the water bottle in the cupholder and purse beside me when splash! All my lovely, cold water spilled all over the seat. –Sigh– It, of course, had to happen on a day when I had been busily congratulating myself on being so far ahead of schedule, and reveling in the thought of getting to work early. I had to go back to the house to get a towel to put over the seat, lest people see my wet skirt and think, “Oh my word! What’s that woman not doing in the hospital!?” or merely sympathetically shake their heads in acknowledgment of the fact that pregnancy had begun to affect my bladder control (sidenote: in a way it has–I have to be so careful when someone says something funny that I hadn’t been anticipating…or whenever my husband tickles me).
I keep giving Robbie updates on our schedule. Now it is only 5 days until Grandma comes, 6 days until Mama’s birthday, one week until his shower, and after that, he can just pop right out! Which, BTW, I have discovered is people’s favorite way of referring to my condition. I can’t even tell you the amount of time I’ve heard the phrase, “You look like you’re about to pop!” I think to myself, “Just give me a pin…’cause if I could, I would!”

“It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money. “ –Eleanor Goulding Smith

I can’t remember the first time my mother told me the words “Jehovah Jireh”, but I do remember that we heard the words a lot growing up. It could have been when we were studying the names of God, or when we were looking over the story of Abraham offering Isaac on the altar. Whenever it happened, it became something of a codeword for our family whenever we received an unexpected blessing or surprise–Jehovah Jireh, the Lord will provide.

While I remember both hearing and saying the word many times through my teens, it has only been since I’ve been married that they have become even more precious to me. I had my share of the typical fears and apprehensions about marrying a man in the ministry, but I knew in the back of my mind (albeit flippantly) that the Lord would for mine and my husband’s needs. I will freely admit that in my first year and a half of marriage, that truth has become more and more real to me every day. God has proved again and again that He not only can, but will provide for our needs.

All of this came to mind yesterday when David and I received two blessings. First off, anyone who has been keepign up with us knows that our air conditioning has not been working. Yeah, yeah, I know that back when you were growing up “Nobody had air conditioning,” (the last holdouts I can remember were both sets of grandparents who have each had a/c for a minimum of ten years) but that is no longer the case, and it is difficult to do much when it is 90 degrees inside your house other than sit on the couch feeling miserable, wearing as little as possible, trying not to move, and hoping no one comes to the door. We finally broke down two days ago, got in touch with the man who fixes the a/c for our church, and set up an appointment. I spent much of the evening and next morning praying that it would not be too expensive to get it fixed and wondering what level our desperation had reached (I figured if it would cost $2,0000 to get it fixed I would someone tough it out for the rest of the summer, anything under $200 would be great, the lower the better). The man came out, check the unit, decided what needed to be replaced, and $40 later, cool air began to breezily fill the house. Jehovah Jireh!

However, we had another special blessing yesterday as well. When David and I got home and walked to the front door, we noticed a large package sitting on the doorstep. Puzzled, because neither of us have ordered anything lately, we brought it into the house and looked at the label proclaiming “To Precious Baby Reed and Family”, with a random address in New York (we do not know anyone in New York). We opened it up and although we could not find a signal packing slip, invoice, card, or note, we did find four packages of diapers, several different kinds of baby lotions, baby magic, baby oil,  baby gel, Dreft stain remover (perfect for getting stains out of little baby clothes), baby powder, and several bottles of Johnson & Johnson baby wash. I must admit, I have been a bit apprehensive whenever I began to wonder how we would fit the cost of diapers into our tiny grocery budget, but looking at our unexpected windfall spread out across our couch and piano bench, David and I kept repeating again and again, “God is so good! God is so good! Praise the Lord, He will take care of us!”

Anyway, I wanted to share these two blessing we had yesterday because they proved to us once again, that no matter what happens, Jehovah Jireh–the Lord will provide. As David and I serve Him (or rather, try to serve Him, sometimes I think we get in the way too much), He provides all of our needs, whether it was our blessings from yesterday, last week when someone paid for our lunch after we decided to splurge on a Mexican restaurant, when the radio station bought new tires for our car, when Grandma and Granddude Vaughan bought a crib for Robbie, or we received a gift card to Wal-Mart in the mail right when we needed it, God has always, and will always provide! In fact, of all the many aspects that come from being involved in ministry (where work is abundant and pay is not), getting to see the Lord provide for our needs has added a level of excitement and anticipation to our walk with Him. After all, if His eye is on the sparrow, why won’t He watch over us, too?

As of today, the current baby of the family is my little sister, Rachel, but, as my growing tummy, perpetually needing to be emptied bladder, and gigantic feet indicate, she is about to have to pass on the crown which she has worn for the last 20 years (but don’t worry too much, Rae, you’ll always be mom and dad’s baby). It’s nice have a baby trump card to play. I was busy working on a top-secret project yesterday and needed some pictures from Rachel (if I need anything from Promise way far away in Papua New Guinea I simply email her and ask and voila! in her next email to me–there it is!) It takes longer to get things from Rachel (I’m not blaming her, because I’m the same way), but in order to keep the situation from becoming urgent, I went ahead and casually mentioned to her over the phone that I had a lot of pictures of just Promise and I, but most of the ones I had of her were with the three of us, so unless she didn’t want any pictures of “just her” in the project, she had better send them quickly. What do you know? No sooner did I say that, but she had gone to her laptop and began firing pictures of herself my way. Such is the nature of “the baby” that I actually had to convince her that I did NOT need pictures of her entire last semester of school and every trip she’s been on in the last year.

Anyway, Rachel came out and stayed with David and I for a week after she got out of school and we had so much fun together! I’m not sure if we get along better now because we’re older, or if its because we don’t live together anymore, but whatever the reason, she’s one of my best girlfriends and a ton of fun, so I thought I’d put up some of the pictures she sent of us having fun.

–UPDATE–

Okay, so I can’t figure out how to put pictures on this blog…that will have to wait until my ultra-technological husband can help me. In the meantime, you can just go to my Facebook account and see the pictures there.

Since my little Robbie has the hiccups right now (making it hard not to think of him), I thought I’d write a quick update of what’s going on with he and I.

As of my last doctor’s visit, I weigh in at 157–believe it or not, I was actually thrilled that I finally seem to be tapering off, having only gained THREE pounds since my last doctor’s visit. In spite of many kind predictions from people who believe this baby will be “big like his daddy!” (it’s going to be disappointing if he only weighs six pounds…), I’m hoping that some of this weight is retained water. Yes, I have started swelling, and while it is still rather interesting to me, it’s becoming more and more annoying. My feet look like soda cans and my toes like vienna sausages. Gone are the happy days of aimlessly wandering through stores, just blissfully strolling along. Nope! Now all I have to do is make a quick trip to Wal*Mart for groceries, and before I’m done I feel like my ankles are going to explode. David now enjoys going for walks to get exercise, because I am no longer charging along urging him to pick up the pace. I now toddle breathlessly behind him as he saunters along.

Yesterday we bought a mattress for Robbie’s crib. Now all we need is some sheets and it’s ready for the baby! I’ve been talking to Robbie lately just to remind him that in just four more weeks we’ll hit the 37 week mark and he can arrive safely without being premature. His daddy keeps telling him to stay in until he’s ready, but whatever…he’s not the one with a precious baby hicupping inside him.

Speaking of my baby’s daddy, he is still the most wonderful husband in the world, and is so incredibly patient and sweet with me as we work through this whole pregnancy thing. Whenever I’m feeling too hot (and I mean in an our-a/c-is-not-working-again, not an amorous way), tired, and swollen to cook dinner, he’ll tell me to go sit in my rocker while he takes care of everything. He’s also very good at giving foot massages, humoring a cranky wife, and so amazingly wonderful that I don’t know what I did to deserve him.

One last thing before I go…I’m not sure if I’ve had any food cravings yet, but I am becoming very obsessed with Mexican food and chocolate. I’m not sure if that has anything to do with the baby or not, because I’ve always loved those foods, but I do desire them much more now…I can’t get enough burritos, tacos, or quesadillas. I have added one new food to regular inventory in my quest to give Robbie a taste for healthy food–tomatoes! A couple trips ago at Wal*Mart I noticed the tomatoes and they suddenly looked rather appealing for the first time in my life, so I added them to the rest of my groceries. Now I have begun eating them and been enlightened to find that they are not nearly as bad I used to think they were. This is probably the first time in my entire marriage that I’ve bought tomatoes since up till now, neither my husband nor I liked them…so, maybe that’s a craving?

Until next time!

On April 1st (no joke) I found out that the child I was bearing would be my first-born son. I’ve thought he was a boy ever since January when we had our second ultrasound, in spite of the fact that he was still too small to know such a minor detail as gender. His daddy had been positive thought he would be a girl, and his grandma and auntie were busy buying him dresses. Therefore, my first words after the technician softly said, “You’re going to have a little boy!” were “I was right.” (I love being right!)

Even though I’m the most girly-girl of all girls, and can’t help but gravitate towards everything pink in any store I’m in, I lay there with gel oozing and goozing all over my constantly growing tummy feeling an incredible sense of responsibility and awe. My baby will be the first boy born on my dad’s side of the family in over forty years.

I must confess that I’m still trying to figure out exactly what you do with a little boy. I knew right away that I wanted denim coveralls for him, so he could toddle out into the yard to dig in the dirt with them on. After that, my vision is a bit hazy, but I do know that his baby-childhood will be filled with cars, trucks, balls, army men, and lots and lots of dirt. And in spite of longing looks at all the lavender and pink baby bedding, I fell in love with a teddy bear and baseball set that I think I’ll use for his nursery. I am determined that this child, my little Robert Steven Reed (who is affectionately referred to as “Robbie” by everyone but his grandpa Robert), will be as 100% boy, as I am girl. It did occur to me today that I have no idea how a little boy’s hair is supposed to be fixed, cut, brushed, styled, etc., but I’m sure I’ll figure it out. The goofy grin on David’s face in the exam room, easily overcame any doubts I might have had about what one earth I’d do with a baby boy. Plus, I won’t have any competition for my tiara…it’s still firmly in place.

On February 29, homeschooling was declared illegal in the state of California. Over 166,000 families can now be found in contempt of court and forced to put their children into a public or private school. This not only shocked, but sobered me.

For starters, I was homeschooled. I consider myself to be bright, possessing an above- average intelligence, the recipient of a vast and varied number of extra-curricular activities, and in no way deprived of anything good, right, and wholesome in my growing up years. I could also say the same of my two sisters, my best girlfriends, my husband, and many others I know who were also homeschooled. I’m not saying this lightly either. I have no desire for this to be taken as some sort of braggadocios post with a definite homeschooling slant. I think our SAT scores, college grades, degrees, our jobs, what we have done and our doing with our lives can speak for themselves as facts. I also know people who have gone to public or private school, and likewise, turned out well. They got good grades in school, worked hard, and are useful contributors to society.

On the other hand, I know some pretty lousy homeschoolers. The parents are easily manipulated by their children, have no idea how to get a days worth of school completed in a 24 hour period, and whose entire day is unstructured and undisciplined. Their completely normal children (I’m looking at this from a mental viewpoint…some people would have hardly called my family “normal”) perform embarrassingly below what is expected not only on academic levels, but also a social level. In the same way, I have seen too many families to count who are an embarrassment to the public school system. I look at them, and somehow feel that my tax dollars are being wasted–by a system that is supposedly governed by “experts”. Many of those schools have 17 year-olds in ninth grade who can only read at a sixth grade level (I know this, I work part-time at a tutoring company). I know bright kids whose parents could care less what they do in school, so long as they don’t play in hooky in order to do drugs with their friends. Thus far, their schools just continue to let them repeat grade after grade, no one caring, no one stepping in to make sure they get the education I’m paying for. The kid sticks around until he’s old enough to drop out. The girls stick around until they can get pregnant. Somehow, many of those I know keep getting passed by for much-needed counseling…which may help educators find a way to get them that educated.

But this post is not about the merits of one method of education over any other. They all have flaws, they all have good points; we could go round and round in a circle comparing them, but that would be pointless right now when there is a far greater issue at stake. It is an issue, that when looked at carefully, should strike fear, and inspire a sense of urgency in the hearts of all Americans–at least, those who love freedom. It is the right of parents to choose what is best for their children. That is it. Seemingly so simple, and yet, suddenly, it has become a matter of such complexity that a court has now weighed in, trying to have the final say.

When you take an honest, unbiased view of the whole education argument, one thing stands out. The children who succeed, the ones who do well, those who “make it”, are–in the majority of cases–those who have parents who feel that their child’s education is their responsibility. It is something they have a choice about. A choice to decide where they will be schooled, how they will be schooled, and how they will reach necessary academic goals. Whether those parents decide that they will wake up at a certain time, gather the children around the kitchen table, and work steadily and efficiently until the day’s lessons are over, or pick up the kids from school, see that homework gets done, they’re passing all their classes, and projects are turned in on time, these parents feel that their child’s education is their responsibility because they know they have a choice in the matter. And in most cases it pays off, because their child succeeds.

There are other parents who act as though whatever choice they arrived at somehow happened by default…if they happen to think about it. Homeschooling parents who are flippant about this matter do put a little more thought into the matter of choice then others in the “default” category, but they seem to think that the choice to homeschool was the end of the choice, not the beginning. Others just find out what public school their kid is supposed to attend, and what time the bus will pick them up. They don’t mind much about grades, practical knowledge, that their kid might be just putting the time in, or anything else. Do we have to wonder when some seemingly bright kids seem to struggle in school?

The fact that stands out with blinding clarity, that it is the parent behind the child who makes the difference, is what frightens me the most about this recent court decision. It is taking away the right of parents to choose what is best for their children. Yes, sometimes, parents make mistakes (some of them by simply refusing to choose). But I think we can hardly call the public school system mistake-free. For that matter, we can hardly call the Federal government mistake-free. Do you know anyone who has always been happy with all forms of government? Those who succeeded in the system were those who had parents behind them who had made a choice, and were determined to make it work. Those who managed to succeed without a parent behind them, managed to because someone stepped in to fill that void, be it a concerned teacher, sympathetic counselor, involved youth worker, etc.

Some people might be thinking, “Well, that’s just California. They’re _________ (fill in favorite lame California joke).” That’s wrong. California and New York are the leaders in fashion, art, technology, religion, politics, etc. It is said that America is only a decade behind France morally. I propose that the rest of the country is only a few years behind California and New York in whatever path they’re going down. I’m not even sure I’d give them a decade. This should be a matter of concern to all citizens, whether parents or not. Because unless you stand up and protest, unless you call your congressmen and senators, urging them to denounce the court decision, it will become law in your state. And suddenly, what you think is best for your child won’t matter anymore. Your right as an American to have a choice won’t matter. Even more frightening, this could just be the beginning.

It is ironic. The liberal left clamors for the “woman’s right to choose”, when advocating abortion. Now suddenly, they’ve decided that once that child has entered the world, the right to choose is gone. All because some people were willing to neglect their rights as parents. They didn’t choose to be involved, to take responsibility, and now, a case is in court (is it the first of many?) that should have never been there from the beginning.

Okay, just one more quick political thought. It seems that if Hillary is going to win this thing she is going to have to do some major restructuring. My personal opinion is that if she really wants to slow down the Obama momentum and get people to grace her with a second look, she needs to get him talking about policy a lot more, because, get this…Obama actually has a more liberal voting record then Hillary (bet most of you Republicans reading this didn’t know that). Listening to them talk–especially Hillary’s degrading comments about the GOP, and Obama’s call for unity–most people wouldn’t guess it and are too lazy/disinterested to find that out on their own. However, with the gravitation towards the candidates that appear (key word being “appear”) to be middle of the roaders/unifiers in this election (Obama and McCain), it seems that the majority of Americans really want someone who will take the middle road, not the high road, low road, not be a flaming liberal or radical conservative, but just a good old-fashioned, regular, willing-to-reach-across-the-aisle-and-shake-everyone’s-hand, not against a small compromise here or there to get the job done, type of president. That is exactly the way the two front-runners are coming across. So my conspiricist theory-oriented mind is wondering, if Obama were to become the nominee and win the general, would he be the “real deal”? Is his more-liberal-than-Hillary’s voting record somehow explainable, and once he’s in the Oval Office will it be partisan all the way? Or is he just a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Has he figured out that all his rallying cries for change have caused independents and moderates to overlook his record and it will only be a matter of time before the (revolting?) truth comes out? Yes, if I were Hillary’s campaign manager I would definitely be trying to draw attention to Obama’s voting record and show that he’s toeing the Democratic hard-line, just like she is. It would definitely scare the moderates. Unfortunately for the Dems, Hillary comes across as such a flaming a liberal herself (mainly because she is) that the frightened independents would probably just run right into McCain’s waiting arms instead. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t called yet to offer me a position on her staff. Still, I’ll hold out hope…that she’ll call, begging me to jump on board and bail out her drowning campaign…so that I can thank her for the kind offer and say a polite NO WAY!

P.S. Next time I blog, I promise it won’t be about politics…I do do other things than follow politics. For example, as soon as I post this I will get on with the thrilling task of finishing cleaning my bathrooms (what joy!), then on to the kitchen to make dinner for my wonderful hubby who promised he would come home early if I blogged.

Today the Democrats are duking it out in Wisconsin…the Republicans are too, but since their race is basically decided, and therefore becoming stale, I’ll turn my attention to the one that has also captured the attention of the media. You have to wonder, though, would the media still be this interested in the race if it were between a black Republican man, and a white Republican woman, while on the Democratic side their so-so candidate busied himself preparing for general election and trying to brush off the last hangers-on? I would like to think they would…but it is hard to say. The media already has such a strong attraction to the Democratic party, that the fact that they have the more interesting candidates in this race is only helping drive the free publicity their way.

This brings up another interesting thought. If either Hillary or Obama does end up prevailing in the primaries, will half of the attention that had been focused on the cutthroat Democratic contest be given to the GOP, or will it merely be transferred to the loser, how they’re taking the loss, and what injustices they feel they’ve suffered? I tend to think it will be the latter. Although, if Hillary does triumph, I can see Obama taking the loss fairly well. He’s young, so he will simply bide his time, hang on to his donor list, and try again in four to eight years. Hillary on the other will most likely cry “foul!” and continue crying about it for as long as anyone will listen. If she doesn’t make it this time, I believe the chance of her ever having as legitimate a shot at the presidency as this time is slim, and she knows it. Her unapproval ratings are just too high, and it would be even more difficult to overcome all the Clinton weariness/hate, that she is already facing in this campaign. Plus, if she were to ever try again to hearken back to the “wonderful” Clinton years in a future election it would seem more and more of a moot point. Many voters would have difficulty either remembering them, or feeling that that is still a relevant case in light of how the world has changed (if you could call that a legitimate case to begin with). In order to make herself viable, she would have to work great wonders in the Senate, which I personally don’t think she has the ability to do. While she can appeal to hard-core Dems, she is much to devisive and taunting of the GOP to ever be able to get any sort of partisian deal made. The failure to do that, would give her less and less appeal all the time in a general election. In spite of the fact that everyone prefers their own party to win, and their extreme causes championed, most people would likewise prefer them to be the type that the other party can at least swallow, however begrudgingly.

So, how do I hope the races go today? I’m wondering if all this focus on the Dems could actually be helpful for the GOP in the fall. As long as this race stays close, tempers and passions will stay high, making it hard for either candidates’ supporters to finally accept the nominee. Some of the bitter, old die-hards may actually refuse to vote because of the ill done to their favorite, while middle-of-the-roaders may become bored with the rhetoric the media trumpeted to them all summer and take a renewed interest in what the GOP is saying (which is a bit iffy–we’ll have to see how adept McCain will be at holding the Bush administration at length in order to keep his mainstream appeal, while still figuring out a way to attract the moral and social conservatives). The feelings of both their supporters run deep. It seems like the worst name a Democratic candidate can be called is a Republican (Hillary gets it more often then Obama…that’s a laugh!), and both of their supporters believe that if the other were elected it would be a continuation of the Bush administration (also quite humorous). Since I sense the GOP will have a tough enough time on its own in the general, I’m hoping this Democratic fight will go on as long as possible–if only for entertainment purposes.

Okay, so maybe it’s not Miss America, but it is me, Noelle Jillian Reed (who at the tender age of 23 is not only married, but on her way to being “great with child” and would now qualify for Mrs. America–where did my youth go? -sigh-). Yes, I am finally making a not-so-grand entrance into the world of blogging. This should bring great joy to many people in my life who I would like to acknowledge: my wonderful husband who made me promise to blog once a month; my little sister who complained that she keeps checking and checking my blog and I never have anything on it; and last but not least, my dear parents who will be thrilled to hear snippets of my life sometime other than when I am cleaning the toilet or walking the dog while talking on the cell phone. I am going to try my very best to not become one of those people who have a fabulous blog page, cool font, and funky backdrop and only update every six months or so (and that’s in a good year). At the same time, be patient with me…at this time of my life I’m very distracted/obssessed with the upcoming presidential elections, my baby growing inside of me, and life in general. So to all those who have taken the time to read my first blog entry ever, ta-ta-for-now, and I shall write again later.